Being a teacher is definitely a difficult job. There's a lot of things that one has to think about and be careful of so that one doesn't look bad or erase the student's respect. Most of the time it can be as simple as trying to think of what to assign for homework. But every now and then there are moments that define the role of being the 'Teacher' and set how the students view you. It's an important thing because if you come across as lenient too early then the students can be more likely to take advantage of it and getting control of the classroom thus becomes difficult. But the opposite is coming across as overly strict, so much so that you are branded "dictator" by some of the more clever students and then the only reason they do their homework and listen is out of fear.
I have spent the past two years trying to find the middle ground and often finding myself asking the question, "is there a middle ground?" I believe that there is but it doesn't come miraculously or suddenly. It comes after a fuckload of work and stress. It comes after months of routine and information pounding so that the students can at least retain some of it. As teachers one has to set side personal self-esteem and expectations of how students "should" act. A teacher needs to have a firm foot on the rules of the classroom and really set the line of Teacher - student. When that line becomes skewed or absent, that is when the students start thinking that they can get away with being punks or shitheads. Once that happens, its difficult to reestablish yourself and get the 'respect' back.
Respect, is probably one of the most important things a teacher demands and the most difficult thing a student can give. It's not something that should be assumed will automatically be given, it's something earned. Earned through perseverance of your lesson plan, no deviations and ultimately - no hesitation. An absence of these is when you start to see attitude shifts and/or slacking. The most important thing that I've learned after two years of teaching and standing infront of that classroom is that one cannot hesitate to do what needs to be done to set the record straight of who they are and who you are. It can be as simple as raising your voice to let the students know that its time to be serious or it can be as extreme as taking whatever they are playing with away. The damned important thing is that you cannot show remorse or regret of doing it.
A raised voice does not have to be anger, but it has to be loud and firm enough to not be yelling but a bellow. It lets the students know that play time is over. If you have unruly students that push the envelope behavior wise, then a slap on the wrist won't cut it; it may the first time, but the second, third, fourth and fifth, is them taking advantage of your unwillingness to do what needs to be done. There shouldn't be a second time at all. The first time they make a behavior mistake, fucking end it. Do not hesitate to make them understand that it was wrong and make the regret that action or attitude. Yes, they may cry or get upset, but that is what it takes and they will respect you as a teacher for being firm.
It's not about being their friend, it's about making sure they understand where the line is.
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